Online Dating At The End Of The Rainbow

The journey to healthy online dating, intimate, social and personal relationships start at the beginning of the rainbow. Experiencing the joy of childbirth is analogous to viewing a beautiful rainbow. Many women love being pregnant! They feel sexy and sensual, busty and beautiful. Furthermore, every time they gaze upon their expanding bellies they must realize part two of this phenomenal and splendid act is about to commence.

Many loving and responsible parents verbalize the same statement, in anticipation of the birth of their newborn. “I want to give my son or daughter those things I never had”, is a universal statement. The statement made by parent’s echoes around the world. During the elation of the newborn, we fail to realize our traditional ways may have a negative impact on our newborn’s disposition, as she/he develops.

Manipulated by tradition, we believe there is no other means to an end other than the way of those who went before us. Fraud, manipulation, and deception have led us to believe that it is appropriate behavior to expose our children to fairy tales. We also accepted the belief that fairy tales are morality tales that will strengthen the moral disposition of our children. This statement is far from the truth, as children around the world who are exposed to fairy tales grow-up trying to unravel the complexities in their lives caused by being trapped in the fairy tale syndrome.

Our Fantasies Begin to Dominate Our Minds;
Our Desires Dominate Reason;
We begin to See Life;
As We Desire Life to Be.

Fairy tales and fictional characters harbor illusions in our minds, constantly generating a false sense of reality. We begin to believe what we imagine to be real, loosing all perspective of reality. If we fail to focus on the moment (reality), we may experience severe agony in the future. We are always concentrating on imaginary future events as the present moment and its life giving lessons pass us by. We find our dating relationships crumbling to pieces and we do not know why. We wake-up in a state of dizziness; our dating relationships resemble the workings of a revolving door, everyone is jumping on and off and it seems like life is spinning out of control.

Our fantasies begin to dominate our minds; our desires dominate reason; we begin to see life, as we desire life to be. We begin to fantasize about the type of intimate relationships we are going to have even taking it to the extent of perceiving how we are going to act within the relationships. We create images in our minds, fantasizing about our knight in shining armor, or a Britney Spears look alike, or just the girl next door. We begin to fantasize about all sorts of things. It is similar to parachute jumping without a parachute. It is an enormous mistake because every action has a reaction. Not knowing what the next moment will bring, places us in an unprotected state.

When our fantasies fail to turn into reality, intoxicants seems to be an alternative. Our relationships with others turn sour and we turn on our best friends (even our imaginary ones). Fear increases, as well as our imaginary fears about future events that will never happen. Life for many becomes fragmented and unpleasant. We begin to experience a feeling of hopelessness, worthlessness, and pessimism. The aforementioned is the reaction to focusing on our desires (fantasies) instead of reality.

“In United States 44.3 million people,
18 and older—about 1 in 5 adults,
suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder"

According to the National Institute of Mental Health,” mental disorders are common in the United States and internationally. An estimated 22.1 percent of Americans ages 18 and older—about 1 in 5 adults—suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year. When applied to the 1998 U.S. Census residential population estimate, this figure translates to 44.3 million people. In addition, 4 of the 10 leading causes of disability in the U.S. and other developed countries are mental disorders—major depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Many people suffer from more than one mental disorder at a given time.” There is no surprise.

As the rainbow appears to fade away, the beautiful picture is no longer clear. What is now apparent is reality. Reality is tolerable when we accept it. Reality only becomes unbearable when we refuse to accept it. For those who are planning to experience that beautiful rainbow on the horizon, remember that universal statement “I want to give my son or daughter those things I never had”.

We must give our children the opportunity to experience healthy dating relationships and embrace reality by encouraging them to focus and live in the moment. Denied were many the opportunities to learn the truth about the harmful effects of fairy tales, fiction, and desires. Countless dating relationships and marriages have ended as nightmares because of a universal misconception, that is, children grow out of everything. Children do not grow out of anything (except clothing) and they just grow into other things. Fairy tales, fantasies, and fiction are vehicles that cause our children to experience gross disappointments in life and destroy any hope of a healthy dating relationship. We must ask ourselves the question; do we want to foster disappointments and blameworthy characteristics in our children? Let us build healthy online dating relationships together. Stay tuned!

Written by: Naim A. Samad

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