Online Dating: 12 Steps To Get Noticed And Get A Date Online

If you want to achieve success with online dating, you will need to educate yourself with the online dating scene. Online dating sites provide a service for people to meet but a dating site can only do so much of the work and input is required from you if you are serious about meeting a partner online.

Whilst thousands of people are joining dating sites every day, hundreds are not making the most of the services a dating site has to offer. I’m no psychic but I’m pretty certain that someone who writes a dull or uninformative profile, doesn’t include a photo and makes no effort to contact anyone will not be inundated with invitations for a date.

By making a few simple changes to the way you are dating online, you could see instant results meeting people you would never have met before so don’t be a wallflower, stand out online and be proactive in your search for a date.


1. Sell Yourself

Your profile is like an advertisement and you need to sell yourself in the dating game.

The eye-catching part of you profile is your photo. Include a photo of yourself (not someone else or a cartoon!) and you could increase your responses by as much as 8 times.

Answer all questions honestly, be positive, focus on your good points and provide members with just enough information about yourself so that they are eager to find out more. Please don’t talk about exes or how miserable your life is…. it won’t attract people to you!

2. Search outside of the box

We may all have an idea of our ideal partner but just because someone is slightly younger, older or from a different town doesn’t mean they won’t turn out to be your ideal partner! Most dating sites provide a search facility to vary your search settings so if your search results don’t reveal anyone who catches your eye try widening your search settings.

3. Get intimate anonymously

The beauty of online dating is that you can get to know someone without revealing any personal details. Emails are sent using an anonymous messaging facility so take advantage of this and spend as long as you wish getting to know someone. Don’t feel pressured into meeting up with someone you have just met online. If they are serious, they will be happy to wait if this is your preference.

4. Make the first move

Don’t be shy – you make the first move. Remember everyone online is serious about meeting someone so, if you see someone you like, contact him or her first. Don’t wait for someone to contact you.

5. Make conversation

Show your interest - The best way to get someone’s attention and get a response is to ask a question specific to his or her profile. This shows you have read their profile and are interested in them.

Flatter them! - Don’t be afraid to use your charm! Whether you like their photo or you are impressed by the fact that they have run the marathon – tell them. Everyone likes receiving compliments.

Make them laugh! - I think if you can make someone laugh or someone makes you laugh, you’re on the path to a good relationship. Be witty and amusing in your messages and they will look forward to hearing from you.

Be flirtatious, not rude! – Don't be afraid to flirt a little if that's how you feel but equally don't be too flirtatious as it could be taken the wrong way. Never talk about sex or imply this is what you are looking for.

6. Keep a little mystique!

Whilst I would encourage you to talk openly and honestly about yourself so that people get to know you try not to tell your whole life story in one e-mail. Hold a little something back for the next message.

7. Arrange a chat room date

Chat rooms are another great way to chat instantly with someone without revealing any personal information. A quality chat room will also provide the facility to have a private one-to-one chat with someone so if you’ve messaged someone, why not invite them to meet you in the chat room at a specific time and day… just like a “real” date. You can then decide whether you want to take it further “offline”.

8. Chat on the phone

If you’re thinking of arranging a date with someone, chat to him or her on the telephone first but use the blocking feature to prevent your number appearing on Caller ID. Go over topics that you’ve mentioned in emails to verify that what he or she has told you is the truth. Ask yourself if the voice you are talking to is someone you feel comfortable with and someone you could trust.

9. Don’t be disheartened

If you’ve sent a message but haven’t received a reply, don’t be disheartened. There could be many reasons why someone hasn’t replied to a message you’ve sent; the recipient may not have logged on for a while, their membership may have lapsed or they may not be a full member entitling them to reply back to you.

If you’ve sent one message then follow it up with a second message to show him or her that you are genuinely interested. If you still don’t get a response, move on to the next person!

10. Give people a chance

If you receive a message from someone who does not immediately tick all of your boxes, don’t rule them out straight away. Reply back to him or her and try and find out a bit more about them. You may have more in common than you first thought and, if not, at least you can say you tried.

11. Be polite when rejecting

If you don’t like someone who has contacted you, do not be rude or offensive. You can either ignore them (hopefully this will get the message across) or politely tell them you are not interested. A reputable dating site will provide a facility to “block” nuisances sending you messages so, if someone is pestering you, don’t be afraid to use this tool.

12. Be safe!

Do not give anyone your home telephone number, address or workplace address until you have met a number of times and are 100% comfortable with that person. Remember that people can be whoever they want to be online - wait until your instincts tell you this is someone you can trust.

If you find you don’t get many responses, you may need to think about alternative conversation starters or rewrite your profile.

Hopefully you’ve got the idea now so it’s over to you! Good luck and remember to have fun!

Written by: Alison Edwards

Questions, Questions and More Questions

by Pat Stevens


After you have had a few dates with someone and you think it might be going somewhere, you begin to ask more serious questions about their childhood, family, job etc.


Eventually the relationship might progress to where the really tough questions must be asked. Like "have you ever slept with someone without using a condom" or "how much debt do you have"? There is no easy way to bring up these questions.

Recently, I received a copy of Michael Webb's newest book, 1000 Questions for Couples: What you absolutely must know about the person you are with. This book is going to make those difficult questions much easier to ask.

The questions start off easy like "Has anyone dear to you died? How did you handle it" and "About what things are you most selfish." They slowly progress (just like your relationship should) until you get to those questions that you simply can't avoid if you are going to commit your life to living with someone. There are questions on drug addictions, abuse, child rearing, finances and lots of questions about sex. And because these questions are coming from a book, you don't feel like "you" are asking them.

A special bonus that I really liked was the option to get 3-5 of the book's questions emailed to me each day. That way I could forward the questions on to my beloved and we could each read over them and forward the answers to each other that night. I can see where this would be very valuable for those in long distance relationships.


While there are a lot of questions in this book that are crucial for couples in the dating stage, the majority of the questions are useful for people who are already married. If you value your relationship, I urge you to ask these 1000 Questions for Couples. read more