Dating affects us all at some time or another. For many it happens during the teenage years and twenties, before meeting the love of their life and settling down to wedded bliss for the rest of their naturals.
For more and more of us however dating revisits later in life, at a time when we're probably feeling pretty vulnerable, for all kinds of reasons.
Mixed emotions surface as a result of divorce - have I still got 'it', am I too fat/thin/wrinkled/boring/uncool... It may be that after a serious of disastrous relationships we start to wonder if there really is something wrong with us as people and maybe we are simply meant to be single.
The good news is that it really is possible to turn things around, sometimes by changing a few basic rules or behaviours so that others can see the fantastic personality lurking within.
These tips aren't written in stone but form solid guidelines for those scaredy cats who haven't dated for a while. They also work for those who have an inkling they may be getting it wrong.
- Yes, you will have to kiss a number of frogs or frogesses before you meet someone you really like. So don't take dating too seriously and be prepared for let downs.
- Be the best you can be. Get the weight off, keep your hair nice, find a good dentist, spend time on your appearance. It does sound superficial, but if you don't appear to like yourself, no one else is going to. Plus, if you're feeling good, you'll be more confident with others.
- Talking of being the best, have you checked out your wardrobe recently? If you met you what would you think?
- Practice being with people. Try to go to as many social functions as you can fit in and simply talk to others, without expecting romance, even if just for a minute or so. People love to talk about themselves, and with practice you'll develop easy ways of getting both men and women into conversation.
- Don't waste time on dates with people who make you feel unsettled or anxious, or uncomfortable about being yourself. All that will happen is that you'll start thinking there's something wrong with YOU. Ditch them - nicely of course.
- Take time off from looking for dates and develop your interests, so you'll have stuff to talk about when you do meet someone nice.
- Sometimes it becomes clear after a while that your date will make a much better friend than partner. If that's the case, be honest but do try to stay in touch. Thay way your social life will expand into areas you may not have expected.
- Don't be shy of introduction agencies. It's much more acceptable to meet people this way these days, and there are agencies to suit people from all walks of life.
Fay Maguire lives in the English Northumbrian hills and set up international introduction agency Country Friends following her divorce. Country Friends offers FREE membership to everyone enjoying sports or a country lifestyle.
