This article addresses the needs of moms who are starving for more time for themselves. Here are seven ways to make time in their overflowing schedule for what's really important.
Time is a created thing. To say 'I don't have time,' is like saying, 'I don't want to.' ~Lao Tzu
If you are like most moms, working or not, there never seems to be enough time to get everything done. And, I can almost guarantee that the the things that you push to the bottom of your "to-do" list are those "selfish" things that bring you the most joy and peace. So, how can you find more time during an average day to do one or two things just for you?
First, get clear on what you would really like to do. If you had a ridiculous amount of time on your hands what would you do? You may want to think back to some of the passions you had as a kid. Did you like to draw or write or ride horses? Make a list of activities and divide it into sections based on the time demands. Some activities may take only 15 minutes, and some may take half a day or more. Be sure to include on your list the things that you know you won't be able to do at this time in your life. Just keeping your mind and your heart open to these possibilities may draw opportunities to you sometime in the future.
Now, in order to "find" more time you need to put time into perspective. Every minute of the day you are making a choice as to how you will spend your time. Time problems begin when we forget our value-based priorities and start to waste precious moments on lesser activities. I don't know how many times I've caught myself in the kitchen putting dishes away, wiping countertops, and picking crumbs off the floor, rather than going into the living room and turning off the TV in order to read or play with my kids. If I'm not careful I could easily spend the majority of the day "organizing my environment" rather than spending quality time with my boys. My children are obviously a higher priority than a spotless house, but some days you wouldn't know it by looking a my actual choices.
My point? Be more conscious of your time-spending choices, especially in relation to your highest priorities. Be true to what matters most to you. Start using a planner that displays one week at a time. Choose 3-5 activities that you feel very strongly about. These are the activities that will be the highlights of your week. When you make the time for one of these activities jot it down in your planner and mark through it with a colored highlighter, using a different color for each activity. I highlight four different areas; time with my kids, exercise, stained glass, and work-related activities. As the week progresses you'll see at a glance what you're not finding time for and maybe where you're spending too much time.
So, where do you fit these important activities into an already bulging schedule? Here are a few ideas:
1) Relaxing your household standards, at least during the child-rearing years, will open up some time for you. This one is my biggest challenge but I compromise by keeping the living area (kitchen and living room) reasonably tidy and letting the other areas of the house go unless company is coming.
2) Delegate just one extra chore (or more if you're daring) to each member of the household. My six-year-old now lets the dog out and feeds him morning and night.
3) If you're the handy type, consider hiring someone to do some of the general home maintenance that is normally on your shoulders.
4) Ritualize some of your cherished activities. Get your family used to your new activity by scheduling it on a regular basis. Go to yoga every Wednesday night. Have dinner with your best friend one evening a month. Meditate every morning from 6 to 6:30 AM and let it be known as "do not disturb Mom" time. Trade off some activity time with your husband. During the summer my husband meets with a running group one night a week, and every Saturday morning I go rollerblading or bike riding. When your activity becomes part of the expected routine it will eventually be met with less resistance.
5) Consider childcare if don't already have any. Get a babysitter or enroll the children in daycare, even just one day a week. Get over the guilt. As long as you do your duty by hiring a caregiver you can trust, you can rest assured that it is good for your children to socialize with other people and have new experiences. You will hopefully use the time to recharge, thus feeling less neglected and frustrated. Spend no more than half the day doing chores and running errands. Use the rest of the time to be totally selfish- get a massage, shop, exercise, browse your favorite bookstore, volunteer, whatever. Just enjoy.
6) Let go!!! Do you have too many obligations? Have you spread yourself too thin? Learn to say no to additional responsibilities and let go of obligations that you aren't enjoying. Volunteer fewer hours if necessary. Listen to your gut. Does the thought of quitting ______ make you feel great? Then do it. Remember, you can't do everything. If you try, what you actually accomplish will be "adequate" or "average" at best. Why not choose to be excellent at a few chosen things and let everything else take a backseat.
7) If you watch a lot of TV, turn it off!!! This is a huge time stealer.
Now that you have a few time-making ideas, I want you to look at your schedule this week and pencil in 2 or 3 activities just for you, big or small. Make sure these are things that you don't normally make time for. Make your lifestyle reflect your priorities, and your reward will be a more meaningful and joyful life. Have fun!
About the Author
Mary Beth Lang is a professional life coach. She works with people in the areas of life transformation and personal excellence. For more information on personal coaching call 636-536-1837 or visit her website. Be sure to sign up for her free "Food for Thought" newsletter.
